Parenting the Child You Have {Review}

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I struggle with being a parent.  Ever had the moments where your child just won’t listen?  When rewards and punishments don’t work any longer?  Let me talk to you about a review book we received that deals with parenting the child you have.

I’ve been there.  I want to share a book with you that has helped us and I’m hopeful will help you in your parenting as well.  Motivate Your Child and Motivate Your Child Action Plan are by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller RN BSN.   Learn more about them and their whys by going HERE.  As part of a blogger team I received an ecopy of Motivate Your Child and a physical copy of the Motivate Your Child Action Plan to review.

Check out the National Center for Biblical Parenting on Facebook and give them a follow to have some wonderful words of wisdom flow through your facebook feed daily.

My main review is going to focus on the Motivate Your Child Action Plan as that is the latest release.  The ecopy of Motivate Your Child was sent in addition.  I will cover it briefly.  If you have more questions about the e-book you can cruise over to the website for more information. I want to let you know before you start that you’re going to need to set aside 40 days to work with your child.

Why 40 days?  You’ll find out in the book why 40 days is key, but think for a moment how many times you see 40 days and 40 nights in the Bible.  It’s a good number folks!

The main theme of these works is Heart Parenting.  Parenting your children in a way that affects them in their heart so that they can discern for themselves what is good and right.  That doesn’t mean there are not consequences or that we just let them have free will, but that we’re teaching them in order to help them make their own decisions when they are grown.  

A key principle in the book that spoke to me is this; when parents change the way they parent, kids have to change the way they live.  It may not be that you are doing anything wrong, it may just be that it is not the right way to reach this child.  We have nine children.  I can tell you that what I can do to reach child #1 won’t work at all with child #5.  They’re each unique and our parenting needs to reflect their uniqueness or it’s not going to be the best fit and won’t work the best.  You have to parent the child you have and not the child you want to have.  They will not become a different person just because you want them to be.  We have to find a way to reach them and teach them as they are.

With the Motivate Your Child Action Plan you’re going to go through a bit of reading and answer questions.  You’re also going to be talking to your child or learning how to best talk to your child.  Remember you’re parenting the child you have.  So key.  I’m still learning.  I think I’m going to have to go through this 9 separate times so I can focus it to each child.  Keep notes guys you’re going to want to go back through and look at them.  There is room to write in the book, but I’m keeping a separate notebook for each child.

Let your children talk.  This is another key for me.  You’re really going to want to talk to and actually listen to your child.  You’re going to get to know them better if you give them the chance.  Let them know what they think and what they want changed.  You might be surprised with what they have to say!  The action plan does give examples of stuff as well.  You’ll see how other parents have worked through this and what their children had to say as well as the actions and behaviors they were working on.

There are references to Motivate Your Child within this book.  It will suggest you read this chapter for when you’re dealing with this behavior.  I would recommend you get both books.  I will probably be buying a print copy of the Motivate Your Child book because I do better with print books then ebooks because I like to mark them up!  You could of course buy the e-book and print it.  Our printer is having issues and I just haven’t got my copy printed.  

Some personal thoughts that I want to add.  If you’re a parent of a foster child, if you’re the parent of a child through adoption, I think you’re going to want to read both of these books.  We’ve adopted children.  We have children we have guardianship of.  It’s hard.  They have behaviors and fears and issues that no one told me I’d ever have to deal with in my parenting career.  These are the children I am learning the most about using these books.  These are the children that I have the biggest connection changes with.

Another personal thought.  Buy the books, use the books, and then donate the books.  Donate them to your churches library.  Donate them to the local library.  Lend them out to friends who are struggling.  Sometimes parents don’t even realize that they need help.  Share your stories with them.  Share the resources and help them one set of parents and children at a time.

I received a physical copy of Motivate Your Child Action Plan and an ecopy of Motivate Your Child in exchange for my review.  All thoughts and opinions are my own.  I have received no other form of compensation.