Helping Children Own Their Behavior

Homeschool Review Crew

As a part of the Homeschool Review Crew we have been reviewing Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think (book).   We also received the companion DVD Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think (Video). Both are written by Joey and Carla Link and released as part of Parenting Made Practical.  They have several parenting books and a video series called A Parent’s Night Out as well. 

The Book

Not overly long at 160 pages, the book has loads of helpful information.  The Link couple have lots of great information to offer and a unique perspective with their combined experiences.  They are parent educators.  Joey has pastoral experience focusing on youth and family ministry while his wife Carla has a degree in social work.  Their advice is down to earth, easy to understand, and practical.  There are no random steps that make you scratch your head and wonder.  No wondering how that might be helping children own their responsibilities.  It’s all clear and concise.  

The overall goal of Parenting Made Practical is to “encourage and equip parents to practically raise obedient, respectful, and responsible children in today’s world.”   Isn’t that what we all want as parents as well?  I mean add in some God fearing and a few other things and that’s almost our parenting goal too.  

About the Video

The video is a one session video that is 53 minutes long.  On the back it says that it’s geared for parents of children ages 5 through college age.  Being a parent of an array of ages I have to say that you really could use this with your younger kids as well.  Maybe I only see that because I’ve watched my younger kids grow into these ages and can pinpoint now that if I had maybe done this one thing differently that I would have been helping children own their behavior as the video suggests.  But I didn’t know!]

While I think the video would be beneficial for all parents, I would not advocate giving it as a baby shower gift.  Those parents are still in the “newlywed” phase of parenting.  Maybe when the little one gets around age 2 one of the  A Parent’s Night Out video series of presentations would be extremely helpful though.  In the video I received you also get to meet their daughter Amy.  It’s nice to be able to see and know at least one piece of their own struggle that has born fruit.  Oh and as a side note I really loved that I could print off and have summary outlines to fill out with the video.  I’m a pencil and paper person and writing stuff down, taking notes, really helps me to learn and cement new concepts.

Our Thoughts

Let’s talk premises here.  A main premise of the book and video is that if you can motivate your children to think for themselves you will have taught them how to own their own selves and responsibilities and therefore the need to lecture them is no longer there.

In our life I can see where I do have certain children who I have to remind constantly to do their chores.  Or more accurately a certain chore that they don’t like to do that I have to make them do and then it’s a fight over them doing it well. 

The blurb on the bottom of the book cover says “Practical ways for parents to stop lecturing and get their kids to own their behavior and responsibilities.” 

Why do we lecture?

We lecture simply because we don’t know what else to do, or so Carla says in the video.  Something I really liked that I’ve been learning and being convicted more and more about is getting to the root.  Because if we get to the root of why our children are needing that lecture we’re more likely to be able to change their behavior and really are helping children own their behavior instead of just constantly lecturing them.  

I think back to when I was a child and when someone would lecture me.  A lot of the time I’d just tune them out.  Which of course made me wonder if that’s what my children are doing.  Some I know they just don’t like their chore and they haven’t realized that once it’s done they can do what they want.  A moment’s displeasure brings that happiness so to say.  

A piece that has stuck in my mind and I’m not trying to implement more is that helping children own their behavior really has three steps of training.  First is giving information.  You have to give them all the information they will need to accomplish the task.  Make sure they know this is what they have to do, why they have to do it, and to what standards it needs to be done.  Second comes showing.  Show them how to do the task the correct way to the correct standards.  Lastly, they must then be held accountable.  There is a great chart/worksheet in the appendix of the book that is really helpful for making sure you not only meet these steps but others as well.  

Learn More

Interested in hearing what others thought of the Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think book and video?  Want to know how you can be helping children own their behavior and not having to nag and yell so much?  Check out the main Homeschool Review Crew blog post where all the reviews are linked up.  You’ll also find reviews for other products through Parenting Made Practical such as Why Can’t I Get My Kids to Behave (book), Navigating the Rapids of Parenting (video), Dating Courting and Choosing a Mate . . . What Works (video), and What Every Child Should Know Along the Way (book).  Parenting Made Practical can also be found on facebook, twitter, and pinterest.